In our last post we addressed the question, Should Preteens Be On Facebook. In response to that article a friend of mine sent me an “agreement” he had drawn up for his daughter to get started on Facebook. Of course, much thought and discussion went into this, and it is quite comprehensive. I thought I’d share this with you as a guideline that you can either use or pass on for parents in your church to use. It can easily be modified to suit anyone’s preferences, and formatted according to those preferences, as well.
Here is the overarching message from both of these posts: we have to be careful and intentional about allowing our kids onto Facebook or any other online community. Too often parents leave kids’ online experiences unmonitored, and that can lead to disaster.
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Sample Parent | Child Facebook Agreement
FRIENDS
• Parents must approve someone before I can add that person as a “friend.”
• Parents and I will be FB “friends.” This serves as accountability since my parents will see my posts, and I will see their posts as well. We will encourage each other to always be good examples.
• All “friends” will be people my age that I know or, if they’re more than one year older than me, will be approved by parents before they become my “friends.”
• I will limit my friend list to real friends. Who needs 500 online strangers as friends anyway?
PHOTOS
• All photos posted on FB will be appropriate and fully clothed. I will never upload pictures in swimsuits, pajamas, or undergarments.
• Photos posted by others will be monitored and my name deleted if inappropriate or disrespectful to me. Profile and friend pics will be blocked from view by strangers (not open to “everyone”).
INFORMATION
• No personal profile contact information will be accessible to anyone, including “friends” (this includes my address, telephone number, parents’ information, or the name and location of my school).
• I will work with my parent on establishing and maintaining privacy/application rules and settings.
• My name will not be “searchable” on Facebook to the “public.”
• I will not respond, and may delete, any messages or comments that are mean or make me feel uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like that. If I do I will tell my parents right away.
• I will be very cautious with anything I say about myself or others. Even people I consider friends could use this info against me in the future, especially if they become ex-friends.
• In all postings, I will consider, “Would I want my dad and mom to read this?”
• Remember that information you delete never really goes away. The pages are archived, and many are accessible free of charge to the public.
BEHAVIOR
• I will practice appropriate online communication, to prepare myself for other future Web applications. This includes respectful language, careful self-disclosure and refusal to participate in any form of cyber-bullying, including the spreading of rumors. I will “unfriend” anyone who is doing or saying hurtful things.
• Facebook time is generally limited to ___ minutes per day, but homework will always take priority
• I will never agree to get together with someone I “meet” online.
• I will never engage in conversation with someone I don’t know. There are too many weirdos out there, and it’s not worth the risk.
• Parents have my FB account password and edit rights on all profile and settings information. They will be checking all parts of my account from time to time. I won’t assume that anything I post or receive is secret (from my parents).
• I will not give out my Internet password to anyone (even my best friends) other than my parents.
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