So far we’ve seen that a Kidmin Leader is a Christ-follower and a Vision-caster.
A Kidmin leader is also a Relationship-builder.
Have you ever thought about the ministry of Jesus? He was not involved in any programs. He used no curriculum. I don’t even think he had a huge master-calendar on the wall to coordinate events! 
What was His ministry all about? Relationships.
Ministry happens best through relationships.
LEADERSHIP happens best through relationships.
Are programs, curriculum and calendars important? Absolutely! But you can do ministry without them. You can’t do long-term, deeply impacting, effective ministry without relationships.
So as a Kidmin leader, building relationships is critical. It seems so obvious, but far too often we focus on tasks or program or “things” instead of people.
“But I’m a shy person.” Yep…so am I.
“But I naturally gravitate toward tasks – getting things done! – instead of the whole people thing.” Yep…so do I.
“But I can get things done better than anyone else…and faster.” Yep…so can I.
None of these are excuses for not connecting with people, for not building relationships. Whatever area you are talking about when it comes to leading your Children’s Ministry, relationships are a vital part.
Recruiting? Successful recruiting is about relationships.
Equipping parents? Build relationships to gain authority in what you present.
Managing staff or volunteers? The deeper the relationship the greater the influence.
Ministry and leadership happen best through relationships.
Here’s a few ways to focus on relationships:
- Give relationships value. What is important gets attention. If you believe relationships matter, you are more likely to focus on them. And as you focus on building relationships you will come to believe that you can accomplish more with a group of like-minded leaders than you can on your own.
- Set aside excuses. I am not a people person. I am energized by solitude, not a group of people. And when it comes to speaking, I would rather speak to 500 than to 5 (less personal interaction required!). But I do love people and I learned long ago that my shyness, or any other excuse not to build relationships, is not valid.
- Be intentional about building relationships. Some things that have been part of my weekly agenda, even though not natural to me, include simple things like:
- Standing in the main entrance way of the Kids Building in order to connect with families as they arrive at the services (instead of running around collecting crayons for the preschool class).
- Personally calling visitors the week after they have attended.
- Taking leaders to coffee or lunch with no agenda other than to say thanks and get to know them.
There are many ways to focus on relationships. More than anything, I have found that it is simply a mindset that we must adopt. Leadership is less about tangible tasks than it is about intangible investments. As we focus on the intangibles over time, we will see greater results in the bigger picture.
So how about you? How do you build relationships in your ministry?
* John Maxwell's Winning With People & Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone are great books to help in your relationship building. Both are available in the Kidmin360 Store under the "General Leadership Books" tab.
Great job. Thanks for posting this, it’ll come in handy.